Secret womens stuff

Men get pissy at women for a lot of reasons, as my life officially tilts towards wrinkled has been I finally got something that has been eluding me for ever. Why women have babies.

I took my god-daughter to the Aquarium last weekend, yes someone was insane enough to think I’d be a good spiritual guide for their daughter, the world is mad isn’t it? It was a lovely experience for both of us, I love that kid, much more than I love the entire human race - yes humans of an alien species said “It’s the kid or the human race” you are fucked I’m afraid.

I was there for her birth, unlike her dad, who like most men is a pussy, but I have to admit that I came close to spewing via shock, empathy and grossed outness. I have been stricken with love ever since though, even after the only true evil in this world, the mess in a child’s nappy.

But I get to hand her back when I am overstretched, or annoyed so it’s highly not going to happen that my womb as Jesus calls it is ever going to be host to an offspring/parasite. I totally get that thing that you get when you look at a child, that fascination, the whole touch thing, the smell - all of it. I can feel my blood scream MATE FFS!!! Unfortunately I can’t think of any good reason to breed in a world with 7 billion + other people who can’t work out that’s billions past the red line.

Why do women have kids? Well we get this sickness, it’s called love, it’s a bit like that - “I need to stick my dick in that” but shit tons more profound. You know I’m taking the piss right? A great deal of it - the kid thing - is vicarious.

It takes very little as a woman to fuck your life up, it’s monotonous in my world to come across women with perfect to near perfect academic abilities that don’t see those abilities nurtured or even given a snowflakes chance in Australia’s chance to be - well anything. So when we hit the wall there is always the bonus round - babies.

Babies can be the hope we lost, the mannequin that we can dress with the hope sewn from the failure of our dreams. This is called delusion and the entire world is soaked in it, I’m actually thinking it might be a side effect of increased CO2 but then I’m educated and female so I probably am wrong about that as well as everything else.

Which brings me to life lesson number whatever - Reality is way too real for the entire human race, faced with the failure of your life you turn your attention to junior and take your crushed dreams, add water and force them into his little cherub face.

If failure persists add god, a being that only exists if you stick your fingers in your ears and repeat “our father” otherwise known as “la la la - not listening to reality”.

When you don’t get that promotion, when it’s your fault for having a minge - there is always Alcohol, drugs and watching your countries’ enemies die live on FOX. Every one else is out to get you, it’s the liberals’ fault you know, not yours, you’re a model citizen in a fucked up world.

 

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Comments (6)

  1. Munkyman

    I wanted to respond, but there’s no way this ends up as anything other than a trap… so I’l pass. Have a nice day.

    June 16, 2017
  2. Dino01

    What are babies you ask? The manifestation of love of course

    June 16, 2017
    1. mister-sandman

      What about babies who happen due to a one night stand?

      June 16, 2017
  3. Bloodlust-Prince

    That is why if I ever get the magical urge to want kids I will adopt. Not only will that stupid urge get fullfilled, but I would end possibly improving the life of some poor kid.

    June 17, 2017
  4. 12SunOryx

    My favorite Tool song ever btw . Maybe Lateralus as a close second.
    Ever consider adopting?

    June 18, 2017
  5. notathoughtgiven

    Babies are in a way like a second chance. Create something and this time make sure what we create avoids the mistakes we made. Gives the illusion that it will be better. Give some hope in a world that seems like failure.
    We all have our illusions in a world that is beyond our ability to control or make better. Some of us have God, some of us blame everyone else for our problems, some of us rely on other things to make our life seem good. But when it comes down to it life and the world is crap.
    When it comes down to it, all we can do is accept that world and life is crap. Do the best we can in a world that is against and fights us every step of the way. Not hold our expectations based on the results but that we did best we could at the time.

    June 19, 2017